Kanye West doesn't care about black compression artifacts

The economy is a funny thing. The media trumpets the rise and fall of NASDAQ numbers every day, and if they go low enough for a long enough period of time, they call it a Depression (by the way I have a Master's Degree in Advanced Economicalism, so I totally know what I'm talking about). But just because economicalist indicators show one thing doesn't mean they affect me personally. I've been perfectly cheerful during housing market crashes and a depressed angsty teenager during stock market bubbles (not possessing anything of material value is a fantastic insulator from the market's vagaries).

This current depression took a while to hit me. Sure, Vancouver restaurants are empty, Craigslist job postings have dried up, and the USA decided things were so bad even another old white guy couldn't dig them out. But on the inside, my heart was singing. Until the fateful day when I watched Kanye's new one:



KANYE WEST "Welcome To Heartbreak" Directed by Nabil from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.


It's gotten so bad that Kanye can't even afford a data compressor! With all his money and fame, Kanye doesn't know how to make a video that doesn't look like a half-downloaded bittorrent. And what happened to the sound playing in the video? Kanye couldn't afford beats, or a catchy hook, or a back-up singer to sing his song for him (the one timeless rule of the market I learned in my degree program: when rappers start singing, sell!) ``Welcome to heartbreak`` has all the melodic sense of an AIG CEO bonus. At least the lyrics are a salutary reminder that no matter how bad things get, rappers still have lots of money:

My friend showed me pictures of his kids
And all I could show him was pictures of my cribs
He said his daughter got a brand new report card
And all I got was a brand new sports car

But on the other hand, Kanye sings these lyrics in a mournful tone, as if having multiple houses instead of kids is a sad thing deserving of sympathy! What a douche. Save crying about how much money you've made to the professionals, like Jim Cramer. Barack Obama, I know you have a lot of problems to deal with right now, but can we bail out Kanye? Can we get him making rap records again? And while you're at it, can you get Mos Def and Andre 3000 making good albums again too? I implore you to act urgently, Mr. President. Kanye West has become too big to let fail.